Would you like a massage with your sushi?

Octopus vulgaris

Image via Wikipedia

Okay, so I don’t like sushi. All right, I’ve said it. I know I’ve now opened myself up to a   rousing round of flack from sushi lovers everywhere about the virtues of sushi, the health benefits of eating fish, and what’s wrong with me that I don’t like sushi. I’m ready for the onslaught.

But I don’t like it. First, sushi is mostly fish. Raw fish. I don’t like fish. It’s either fishy or bland. And I’m of the school of thought that any food that is worth eating should be tasty without undergoing extensive manipulation and alteration. I can slap a piece of chicken on the grill, and it’s delicious as is. I don’t have to batter it, fry it, chop it up, mix it with other things, slather it in butter, or massage it.

That’s right, I said massage it. I heard a disturbing report on the news today of an acclaimed, expensive sushi experience. In the process of describing the superiority of the sushi at this restaurant compared to others, the documentarian described what makes this sushi special: the octopi receives extensive massaging before serving. Turns out most sushi restaurants just don’t massage their octopi enough. “Tragically undermassaged” it seems. I’m as shocked to hear this as you are, but really, it’s true. At least an hour of massaging is about right , and anything less is just inferior and lazy.

And the price of this well-massaged sushi meal? About $300. All I can say is, if I’m shelling out $300 for a meal, it better be food that’s cooked, and I better be the one getting the pre-meal massage!

Related link: Cameras follow world’s greatest sushi chef (npr.org)

© Huffygirl 2012


33 thoughts on “Would you like a massage with your sushi?

    • From what I heard, the octopus is tough and unappetizing unless it is massaged. Hmmm. In my book, octopus is automatically unappettizing, and no amount of massage will change that for me.

  1. LOL!!!! I agree with you about the massage…. I better be the one getting it! No $300 on raw fish for me, either (athough I do like sushi . . . but not to the tune of that kinda money!)

  2. I’m with you, Huffy. Tried sushi and did not like it. Plus, the germaphobe in me can’t get past the hazards of eating it…parasites, unclean work surfaces, dirty massaging hands, and then no heat to kill it all off. Blech.

  3. I love fish/seafood…as long as it is cooked or smoked. I don’t like raw fish at all. I like sushi if it is made with cooked or smoked fish, or just the veggie kind. As for $300 for a dinner…I would want the massage for me prior to dinner, a meal of my choice exquisitely prepared and presented with wine, and a very special dessert and coffee.

  4. hahahah Thanks! I do eat sushi and the next time I eat at my favorite place, I’m gonna take my plate of sushi back up to the sushi roller and I’m gonna tell him “Dude! This Octopi has not been properly massaged!!” 🙂 Thanks HuffyGirl! 🙂

  5. Alongside Tough and Tasteless for an Octopus, you’d better add Highly Intelligent – which is possibly a more compelling reason for not eating them (or squid for that matter). Only vegetarian sushi for me…

    • Glad I could make you smile Maggie. Maybe I don’t know enough about sushi because I thought all sushi had fish in it. So, if California rolls are fishless sushi, then I guess it’s not cheating. Just watch out for those under-massaged octopi though.

  6. We eat all sorts of sushi and sashimi. Sushi can be made from all sorts of fish (cooked and uncooked) and veggies. Our son-in-law is Japanese, so we have had an extensive education since he came into the family!

  7. i am happy to pay 300 dollars for my sushi.The quality needs to be superb. I am happy to folk out even more for the octopus that has been massageed. it tastes so good.
    you guys are so behind!

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