For a clean fridge, now there’s Refrigaminder


Refrigerator

Everyone wants a clean, shiny refrigerator – a refrigerator free of crumbs in the drawer, spilled juice on the shelves, or hundred-year-old ketchup. But it’s such a pain to empty the refrigerator, wash it out, sort through the old food and put things back. Nobody wants to take the time to do this thankless job. Until now. Now there’s Refrigaminder.  Refrigaminder monitors your refrigerator, and doesn’t let things get out of hand. Just attach the handy Refrigaminder scanner to the inside of the refrigerator door, then scan the bar code of  items as you put them in, or take them out of the refrigerator. Refrigaminder records the product name and expiration date into its handy Refrigadata base. When a product becomes out of date, Refrigaminder will flash an electronic message on the scanner window. “Warning, warning: Newman’s Own Balsamic Vinegar expired. Warning.” Refrigaminder will repeat the warning every three days until you remove the offending item.

But what about those pesky crumbs littering the bottom of the refrigerator drawers? Refrigaminder takes care of that problem too. Every six weeks, Refrigaminder sends you light-hearted text messages, telling “Hey, this is your refrigerator. It’s time to get out your bucket and towels and give me a good cleaning.” Once the cleaning is done, simply reply to the text and Refrigaminder resets to give you another friendly reminder in six weeks

But what if you’re lazy and unmotivated? You ignore the texts; you let the two-year old salad dressing languish in the door to live another day. You need Refrigaminder Deluxe. Refrigaminder  Deluxe goes the extra mile to keep your refrigerator squeaky clean. Going beyond texts, Refrigaminder  Deluxe will take any measures necessary to keep your refrigerator up to date and sparkling clean.

Still skeptical? I decided to put Refrigaminder Deluxe to the test. I set up the easy to use Refrigaminder scanner, and entered my phone data for texts. Then, I waited. Every warning that came up on the monitor for expired food items, I ignored. Every friendly text from Refrigaminder about the six-week clean-up, I deleted. Then, one day it happened. I came home late one night, after a week-long vacation, opened the refrigerator and saw this horrifying message on the monitor: “Refrigerator temp 67 degrees;freezer temp 67 degrees. Warning, warning, remove spoiled food now.”

Harsh? Yes, but for some folks, just what they need. No more outdated food in my refrigerator. In fact, there’s no food in it at all. But thanks to Refrigaminder, if I ever do get food again, at least it will be fresh!

Don’t let this happen to you. Call today: 1-800-CLEANME. Operators are standing by. If you call now, you’ll receive a free “Refrigaminder: Clean me now ” refrigerator magnet, and a three-month supply of Refrigaminder Clean Fridge Baking Soda. Put your mind to rest and your food to fresh with Refrigaminder.

© Huffygirl 2011

New category: InFAUXmercial


Meals in seconds with this! (Image courtesy of Google)

It’s Sunday morning, you can’t sleep. You get up early and turn on the TV, hoping for some intelligent programming  to get your mind off your insomnia. Well, you might as well forget about the intelligent  part, because: a) that rarely exists these days, even in prime time, and b) it’s Sunday morning –  the day for infomercials. Yes, the infomercial – a TV show using a fake talk-show format to sell a product that most people could get along without. We’ve all seen it at some time or another, so I’m sure you know the drill. There’s the chatty host, usually sort of a Ryan Seacrest look alike. Chatty host sits at a desk and talks it up with eye candy – a young, attractive woman who acts as the “guest.” They discuss the product ad nauseam, demonstrate the product together, and often bring in an eclectic mix of “experts” or users to give testimonials. One of my favorites is “The Magic Bullet.” It’s a simple little blender-type gadget that is purported to be able to produce an entire gourmet meal “in seconds.” It might be seconds  if you had about thirty of these things like the people in the infomercial do, so you wouldn’t have to take it apart and wash the blades in between making cheese quesidallas, frozen daiquiris, Alfredo sauce, and fruit smoothie desserts. In reality, the Magic Bullet is an ordinary blender blade with a screw-on container. But the infomercial folks in true infomercial style, turn it into a kitchen messiah, by convincing the viewer that it’s fun, easy and will make people like you, because you make amazing meals for them “in seconds.” Never mind that each blended food delight is only enough for one or two people – with a miracle gadget like this, just use the “multiplication of the loaves” feature and you’ll  have enough for a party. Really, I don’t know why you haven’t run to your phone to buy one right now, just from reading this resounding  endorsement.

No infomercial would be complete without the pricing and ordering information, shouted at the end by THE MAN WITH THE ANNOUNCER-TYPE VOICE. Invariably the price for this amazing gadget ends with 99; if you wait, there will always be “more”; and if you order now (after all, operators ARE standing by) you can get two of these amazing gadgets (why would anyone want two?) for the price of one.

Spoofing the infomercial is so much fun that I think it’s finally time to have a category for it – I’m calling it  InFAUXmercial. You can see my previous infomercial spoofs here, and look for future fun posts in the InFAUXmercial category.

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© Huffygirl 2011