Faux Friends: Don’t be left out

"Kellogg" brand "candle stick&q...

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Has this ever happened to you? You’re at lunch with a group. No one’s talking to you – they’re all too busy looking at their phones: playing games together, texting, updating Facebook. Except you. Why? You don’t have enough friends with idle time on their hands to play phone games and text with. Most of your friends have actual jobs and commitments. They don’t have time to play with their phones all day. But, you feel left out, isolated. Well, no longer. It’s time to stop being left out from phone friend activities. It’s time for Faux Friends.

Faux Friends is a discreet service for those who need more “friends” with whom to interact on their phones. No longer will you feel left out while those around you are texting and looking at their phones. Now you too will have someone to text, game, or even talk with, at your fingertips. Start today. Signing up for Faux Friends is easy.Click here to log onto Fauxfriends4u.com and begin your membership today.

With Faux Friends, you phone will never be silent again. You’ll get texts, FB updates and invitations to play games any time your phone is idle. Too busy to answer? Then you phone will just vibrate incessantly, letting everyone around know that you too are important, so important that your phone is always ringing. No more looking like a social misfit when you’re out in public. You can spend just as much time interacting with your phone screen as everyone else around you. With Faux Friends at your fingertips, you’ll never be forced into awkward face-to-face conversation with you companions again. Why waste your time talking to those around you when you can engage in mindless activity with your phone? Sign up for Faux Friends today!

© Huffygirl 2012

Other InFAUXmercial posts by Huffygirl:

Back off Al Gore, we don’t need no stinkin’ internet (well, maybe just a little bit)

Al Gore's brain child (Courtesy of Google)

I feel – refreshed. I’ve just  found a young person who is not obsessed with the internet.Or Facebook. Or constantly texting and Twittering. For security reasons, I’ll call her  “M.” M is a college student. She uses the internet when she needs to for school or convenience, but she doesn’t have internet access at home. No constant obsession with Facebook. She has  a FB account, but doesn’t really use it much. She can’t shoot off quick status updates or emails to her friends. Instead, she might actually have to call someone, or gasp, talk to them in person. M is not a Luddite; she’s just  a refreshingly practical person who decided that  internet access is low priority compared to all the other places her money needs to go. M is one of my climbing wall buddies. On Wednesday nights while she is scrambling all over the wall like one of the Flying Wallendas, her peers are sitting somewhere drinking high-calorie lattes’ and tapping away at their computers or phones.  M is studying exercise science and outdoor recreation, a focus that could no doubt lead her to a career  someday of getting overweight people to be active and play outside. She shouldn’t have any trouble finding a job, since about 50% of our population is now either overweight or obese

I came home after this conversation feeling renewed and nostalgic, just in time to catch most of Modern Family. Yes, I know here I am expounding about  people sitting around too much and then I come home and watch TV. But I had just been to the gym, so give me a break.

Anyway, in this episode, the mom Claire becomes concerned that her family is spending too much time sitting and using electronic devices. She bans the use of anything electronic for a week  – computer, cell phone, video games, iPad, Pod, Touch, etc and offers a prize to the person who lasts the longest. Of course, in no time at all Claire tries to make an airline reservation by phone instead of online, and quickly caves when she finds out how difficult it is.

Internet, electronic devices – blessing or curse? They’re great for convenience for things like making reservations, instant communication, online banking,

Huffygirl playing outside, pre-internet (© Huffygirl)

shopping and the like. But they can become a curse when they keep us from talking to the person right in front of us, or so occupy us with inactivity that we no longer play outside. I’m concerned when I see a group of people sitting together texting and playing with their phones instead of talking to each other. Or when I see children who are great at video games, but no longer play outside games. And don’t even get me started on our obesity epidemic – that’s another blog all together.  Can we temper our electronic device use to a sensible level like M?  Your comments please. Meanwhile, I’m going for a bike ride.

© Huffygirl

If you’re on the mailing list, you must not be dead

My dead mother gets mail. Lots of it. Almost as much as when she was alive. Some of it makes sense – hospital bills, explanation of  benefits from Medicare, utility bills. Most of it does not. She just got a request from her church to give to their annual appeal. Since the funeral was there and all, you’d think they would know she is gone. Comcast wants her to sign up today, even though I just mailed them a death certificate and the modem from her house. Medicare sends a note saying: “You have not paid your premium. Your benefits are currently inactive. If you have died, please disregard this notice.” The funniest one so far? I changed her address so her mail would be forwarded to me, causing the phone company to send her…congratulations on her new home and a brand new phone book.

Is this the only way to quit Facebook? (Photo: Huffygirl)

I find it amusing, annoying, irritating, but usually not upsetting. I dutifully scribble on the backs of reply cards “Emily has died. Please remove her from your list,” and send them back. Sometimes the note is sassy, if they’ve annoyed me enough times with their mailings: “I regret I cannot attend your event, as I have recently died.” Sometimes bittersweet: “The home care nurses were excellent, but I really am tired of receiving surveys for my dead mother to complete. ”  Sometimes dead pan:” Emily has died and is not interested in receiving mailings from your assisted living.” I am wondering how many creative responses I can devise before the mail eventually stops.

But it’s not going to stop, at  least for a while. I have to drive 40 minutes to her house once a week to pick up the junk mail so it won’t accumulate. I still get mail at my house for people who lived here 25 years ago, so why should junk mailers stop sending mail to a dead person?

Even harder than paper mail is internet mail. I’m sure she’s still getting emails to an inbox that no longer exists. I have no way of knowing how many times an email must be returned before the spammers will stop.

The hardest of all – trying to quit Facebook. When I went in to deactivate her page, FB would not let me complete it without giving a reason. Of  the many choices listed , death was not one of them. My mood was dark at the time, so I chose “other” and typed in: “I have died so am no longer able to use Facebook. Please deactivate my account.” Not long after Mom got a cheery email from FB.” Hello Emily, your Facebook account is still waiting when you’re ready to return. Just click on the link to reactivate your account. Your Facebook friends are waiting.”

Sigh. Ben Franklin was wrong. The only certain things are death, taxes, AND that you’ll never get off the $&#!% mailing lists.

Say what?

Emergency "Twitter was down so I wrote my...

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People, and Americans in particular,  have a lot to say and we’re not afraid to say it. WordPress alone has 367,010 blogs. There’s many other blogging sites as well, and self-hosted blogs. It’s difficult to know how many blogs are out there, but one estimate is 15 million. Yes, that’s MILLION. Then there’s Twitter, Facebook, and Plinky Prompts. People write these writings, read these writings,  comment on these writings, and read more comments on these writings. No wonder people don’t have time to read ordinary newspapers anymore. One could literally be online all day, every day, and not run out of things to read.

I’ve follow a few blogs as favorites, but in reality, by the time I work on my own blog, read Facebook and occasionally write a Plinky Prompt, I don’t have time to do much more. I also read the daily local newspaper, subscribe to one magazine (okay, it’s Better Homes and Gardens) and two nurse practitioner journals. Then I get daily email updates – from Medscape, MD Consult and the American Academy of Nurse Practitioners (AANP).  Then of course I get a lot of email. Much of it I don’t want, but still have to glance through in case there’s something important. I’m a fast reader and still have a hard time keeping up with all this. Then there’s the paper mail in the mail box to sort through, which more and more is nothing I need or want, except the bills.

In sorting through all this writing, I find that some is good in many ways, some not so much. I like to read news, funny or pithy comments and look at pictures  from my family and friends on Facebook. But I really don’t need to know what someone ate that day or did every hour,  or their excessively lengthy opinions on politics and what they’re wearing. I’ve avoided Twitter because I already have enough to read, and frankly much of it sounds like minutia. (Sorry Twitter fans). Yet, I get ecstatic when I get a new follower on Plinky Prompts (yes I really do have followers) or when people read my blog. In some ways I can’t believe that anyone would care about what I have to say, yet it’s exhilarating to know that someone does.

Our world is big. Everything has gone global. Yet, we all want to be heard and have our opinions matter. Take some time today to read what you value, and affirm to those who write it that you care about what they say. And if you write, make it worthwhile.  Write well. Make someone laugh, cry, think, learn. Make it thoughtful and something that  matters so it’s not lost in our sea of words.

(As if you don’t have enough to read already, you can follow me on Plinky at  http://www.plinky.com/people/huffygirl/answers)

(Here’s a great link that explains RSS feeds, which are purported to simplify your web reading. I haven’t subscribed to RSS yet, so let me know if it’s helpful. Scroll down until you see the video. http://blog.plinky.com/

© The author and Huffygirl’s Blog, 2010 to 3010. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to the author and Huffygirl’s Blog with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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