Canada adds new province



Canadian prime minister Justin Trudeau announced today it has acquired enough land to add a new Canadian province in Israel. “Our new province is a positive move for both Canadians, Israelis and  Palestinians. Canada is a country originally formed by peoples of many nations, including Aboriginal people and those from many European nations.  Our hope is that the unity that all Canadians feel will spill over into the new province, uniting Canadians and all people currently living in Israel.”

While details are still evolving, Trudeau believes that all residents will eventually gain dual citizenship of Canada and Israel, while maintaining any citizenship they currently hold from disputed Israeli lands. “This will allow all citizens of the new province to move about freely, dispensing the need for Israeli work permits, which is always a hot button issue in Israel.

The addition of the new province, named Nova Canuck, brings the number of Canadian provinces to 11. While most Canadians are ecstatic about the addition of the new land, some remain skeptical. Disputers argue that Trudeau, who makes his love of the Israeli product SodaStream no secret, has acquired Israeli land to keep his beloved soda flowing. While Trudeau denies this, both Canadian and Israeli Twitter are blowing up over the hashtag #SodastreamsoTrudeau.

© Huffygirl 2016



O Bamacare: It’s Candian eh

Barack Obama signing the Patient Protection an...

Barack Obama signing the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act at the White House (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

What do you do when you want to bring health insurance to an entire nation? Call Canada of course. Canada, our friendly neighbor to the north, is the expert in bloated governmental bodies bringing health care to the masses, having had a publicly funded national health insurance system since 1984, coincidentally the same year for which George Orwell predicted a reign of post-apocalyptic social Darwinism. Our government, not wanting us to miss out on the same success the Canadians have had, hired CGI, Canada’s largest tech company, to build the Obama care website, apparently unphased that fellow Canadians in Ontario had just fired CGI last year for failing to deliver a different health-care IT project on time. Orwell, er oh well. Any minute now the website should be up and running again. In the meantime, let’s sing a tribute to Obama care.

(Sung to the tune of O Canada)

(Want the accompaniment? Click here.)

O Bamacare, health care for one and all.

Click on the link, and watch the website stall.

With anxiety, we sign in for free, to avoid the penalty.

Then we try to call, as our last hopes fall,

There’s no Obama care for me!

God keep us from, social anarchy,

O Bamacare, when will you ever be?

O Bamacare, when will you ever be?

© Huffygirl 2013

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No Fooling: Iceland hopes to adopt Canadian currency

Due to its soaring value against the American ...

Due to its soaring value against the American currency, the Canadian dollar was the Newsmaker of the Year for 2007. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Back in the beginning of April, I wrote about how the US is adopting the Canadian penny as a replacement for its own penny. I thought this was  a great idea and made a lot of cents, er sense: Canada has a whole bunch of pennies sitting around that they don’t want, and the US is spending a lot of money producing pennies, so why not put the idle coins to use? The only problem? I wrote the post on April 1st, as my annual April Fool’s Day spoof. Sadly, it all turns out to be a fable.

But now, this idea is back, and this time it’s real. Iceland, no doubt after Iceland treasury authorities read my April 1st post, is contemplating adopting the Canadian dollar, known as the loonie, to replace their current dollar equivalent, the krona. Iceland thinks the Canadian dollar is a more stable currency than its cousins, the Euro and American dollars, and probably rightly so. Canadian currency lacks the baggage of its Euro and American cousin’s debt, bailouts, unemployment and banking scandals. And let’s face it, Canada is just a nice country, filled with nice, nice people, who seem pretty willing to share their currency and probably just about anything else.

If the Canadian-Icelandic loonie deal goes though, who knows what’s next? Icelanders changing their national anthem to “O Icelandia, our home and native land …” Icelanders having a sudden penchant to imbibe in Labatt or Molson? Iceland changing its national sport to hockey? Icelanders suddenly spouting things like “Eh?” and “aboot” ? The possibilities are endless, and bodes well for bloggers and late-night TV hosts.

O Canada

Soon Americans will be celebrating our national day of Independence on July 4th.  Some celebrations will be somber and solemn, some silly, but mostly we just celebrate the independence of the American people by shooting off fireworks invented by the Chinese, drinking beer invented by the Germans, and cooking meat over charcoal briquettes, invented by Henry Ford. Meanwhile, our Canadian friends to the north, having just gotten done cleaning up Vancouver from their “celebration” are celebrating the day of what seems to be anniversary of Canadian unification, Canada Day, formerly known as Dominion Day. This is a complex holiday, so complex that despite reading the Wikipedia entry many times, I still don’t know exactly what it is that Canadians are celebrating. Perhaps many Canadians don’t understand it either, not unlike many Americans, who think July 4th is just another day off from work to drink beer. I hope my Canadian friends had a great Canada Day, and I’ll leave it to them to explain to us what Canada day is. In the meantime, in honor of Canada Day, I bring you a repost of my tribute to Canada, “Maple Leaf Money.” And, if I ever figure out how to get a video from an iPhone to my blog, I’ll post a video of my “Canadian” son and I singing our annual rendition of  O Canada. Really. Maybe someone can tell me how to do this.

Dear Canadian friends:

I’ve got your money. I want to give it back to you. Really, I do. Although your money is beautiful, with pictures of queens, reindeer, and large birds, and has charming names like Loonies and Toonies, unfortunately, it’s almost worthless here. Our vending machines don’t want it. Coin Star doesn’t want it. No one likes to get it in change, and who pays with change anyway? The bank won’t take it. And I bet you folks would like to have it back.

I would come over myself and give it back to you but I can’t because: a) even though you’re very nice about letting me come in to your country, my own country insists on strip-searching me when I return, and b) I’m afraid I’ll end up accidentally bringing back more of your money with me, thus starting the whole process over. So you can see why I can’t come. But, you could come here and get it. Americans love Canadians. After all, you gave us hockey, Michael J. Fox and Canadian bacon. As a people, you’re wonderfully polite and kind, and have quaint expressions like “queuing up” which we find charming. Your national anthem, O Canada (which, thanks to televised hockey, I almost know by heart) is melodic and rousing. In fact, this past Canada Day, July 1 BTW,  my hockey-loving son and I faced Canada and saluted you with our own robust rendition. 

But, I digress. If it’s okay with you, I’ll leave the money in a big paper bag just across the Blue Water Bridge. Come and get it whenever you’re ready. If your economy is anything like ours right now, chances are you’ll need it.  Thanks Canadian friends.



PS: Since you’re coming anyway,  maybe you can bring us some of your national health care. We can’t seem to get it right here, and you’ve been doing it for years, so you’ve probably got it down now.

O Canada (sung to the tune of O Canada)

O Canada, Our home and native land!
True patriot love in all thy sons command.

With glowing hearts we see thee rise,
The True North strong and free!
From far and wide,
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.

God keep our land glorious and free!
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.

(Images courtesy of Google)

 © Huffygirl 2011

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