Worried about that chocolate addiction of yours? And with the Easter Bunny just here, showering you with chocolate bunnies, eggs and the like, aren’t you wishing there was a way you could come clean and rid yourself once and for all of that chocolate addiction? Well, now you can. Now, there’s Chocnix®.
Chocnix® is a prescription medication designed to free the user from chocolate addiction. Chocnix works by blocking the pleasurable and addictive effects of chocolate. After only one week of use, Chocnix® users will find eating chocolate less pleasant. Eventually, chocolate eaters will receive less and less positive reinforcement from the ingestion of chocolate, causing the user to eventually stop eating chocolate. By 12 weeks of Chocnix® use, most users find they are able to completely abstain from chocolate eating. After an additional 12 weeks of use, most patients find they will never desire to eat chocolate again.
Chocnix® is not for everyone. Users may experience rage, anger, chocolate envy and psychosis. Don’t use Chocnix® if you suffer from extreme chocolate addition, evidenced by waking up the day after Easter with your head in an Easter basket, surrounded by foil wrappers. Ask your doctor if Chocnix® is right for you.
© Huffygirl 2013
I suppose Ex-Lax in the shape of a chocolate rabbit might work, too.
Yes, it would be like Antabuse for chocolate.
I would have to say that Chocnix is not “right” for me! Thanks for the post Easter chuckle.
I think you are supposed to ask your doctor if it’s “right for you.”
Thanks for the tip. But I do not believe I need to take this stuff. I normally eat only chocolate that is 70 or 85 per cent. And then I usually eat only small bits and pieces of it. I seem to have an aversion to overly sweet things. The Easter eggs put me temporarily off guard for a couple of days. But I’ll soon be all right again. I think to indulge once a year in a few chocolate Easter eggs (*very small ones, mind you) isn’t too bad.
At first I thought you meant that 70-85% of your food intake was chocolate. That would be heavenly. Glad you don’t need to use Chocnix Aunty.
When I eat chocolate it’s usually 70% or 85% Cocoa!
It says that it is fine dark chocolate made from selected cocoa varieties.
I sometimes like a chocolate drink. I make it myself with lots of cocoa and some milk and of course hot water. No sugar! At the most half a teaspoon of honey! But I don’t really need the honey. It tastes yummy even without the honey.
Just another one of those informrecials I have been watching in the middle of the night with the aching knee syndrome. I just laughed because it figures don’t it that we need something to help us get rid of something we like. Very funny Huffy Girl.
Exactly. If we hated chocolate, we wouldn’t need help getting rid of it. Hope your knee feels better.
This is hilarious!
Thanks Gilly. And it’s 100% true.
Gee, those are MILD side effects. No spinal decomposition, mid-femur articulation, or navel bifurcation? ‘Scuse me, I gota go call the doc! 😀
Yes, and think about the horrible side effects you might be getting from eating chocolate instead – like…weight gain.
Wouldn’t that be MORE weight gain? (Though, I’m proud to admit I dropped into the 180s for weight, first time since my health went kablooey. So how about less weight loss instead? 😉 )
Less weight loss certainly makes one stop and think. Good for you with your weight – must be the Chocnix.
Excellent. Satire is hard to pull off and you did it well. HF
Thanks HF. That means a lot coming from you.
Bravo to you for alerting the public to this wonderful and much needed product, HG. I, however, have no need for it, but I would be indebted to you if you could find me a similar product that makes bread taste like dirt.
I think the NIH is already working on that one Susan. I’ll see if I can hurry them along.
funny! I’m too addicted to be a candidate, though. I would probably need an intervention.
Me too. I would like to use Chocnix, but I’m not sure I want to give up my addiction.