Door to door

Who says we need roofing?

Lately I’ve had a plague of door to door salespersons – banging on my glass door, despite the very obvious, lighted door bell.  I know that times are hard and people are trying to make a living the best they can, but REALLY? In the world of 24/7 online shopping, it’s hard to believe that anyone can still make a living as a door to door salesperson.

Of course, these salespersons are NOT selling anything. NO, of course not. That is the opening line. “Hello, I’m ________, and I’m not here to sell you anything.” Then, if I continue listening, they go on to ask if I’m concerned about: energy prices, home security, roofing and siding, water purity, and so on. Next, they tell me they’re shocked, SHOCKED, about the travesty of: high energy prices, poor home security, shoddy roofing and siding, or lack of water purity. Then they implore me to: put a sign in my yard, sign a petition, join my neighbors in decrying ______. Then, wait for it, here comes the kicker. The not-selling-anything sales person tries to sell me: better energy options, a home security system, roofing or siding, or a water purifier.

By now, readers are shaking their heads and saying to themselves “Huffygirl, why do you stand there and let them go through the dog and pony show? Just slam the door and be done with it.” Well, first I’m too kind to slam the door, and second they go through it all so fast I’m always caught off guard.

But now, I’m ready. I’m on to the door to door nonsales-sales ploy, and I’ll be ready the next time the perky young man comes to my door NOT selling energy efficiency, replacement windows, or home security. But by then, it will be time for the sweet-faced kids Little League kids  selling candy bars.

How about some nice replacement windows?

© Huffygirl 2012


26 thoughts on “Door to door

  1. This is priceless. I was going to come back and read it after I went through my posts received list quickly. Well, the first sentence hooked me, and here I am replying. I am not like you…not too kind to slam the door…well, I don’t actually SLAM the door. I tell them I’m not interested and close the door gently in their mid-sentence. That’s not slamming, is it? Still, I wonder how they make a living, especially in Esterhazy where nearly everyone is a weekend DIYer.

  2. So funny Huffy Girl!
    I have a way of dealing with the JoHo’s that turn up on Sunday mornings, I tell them I’m a pagan witch and stare very hard at them – always works 😉

  3. Around here, that’s the pitch you get with unsolicited phone calls – they’re never ever selling anything oh no they wouldn’t dream of it. And you know the rest. The ones who come to the door just want to let you know that their roofing / window / landscaping / siding company will be working on your block next week and would you like to schedule some work blah blah…

    (Now that I think about it, it surprises me that there would be regional differences like this. I guess I assume that the phone calls in particular are made from some centralized location.)

    I’ve heard that both door-to-door and phone sales are a miserable way to make a living, so I try to be polite before hanging up or shutting the door. But I don’t cooperate with their preset list of ways to keep the conversation going, either. 😛

    • I agree – I think both are difficult jobs. You’re basically interrupting someone from what they really want to be doing, to convince them that they need to buy whatever it is you are selling. If I had to make a living at selling things, I’d probably be pretty broke.

      But I think the tactics are the same – the sales phone calls we get always start out by saying they are not selling anything either.

  4. You’ve got to get tough, HG. What bothers me the most is when people won’t let me be polite and tell them I’m sorry but I’m not interested or we can’t afford it right now or whatever. They want to stand there ( or sit there on the phone) and argue with me about my finances. I’m certain I know what I can and cannot afford better than they do! So, if they won’t take a simple no thank you, I close the door or hang up the phone.

    • I think they have an algorithm that speculates on every eventuality. “If the custom says ______, counter with ______.” I am much better at saying no on the phone than when they’re at the door. Plus, it seems that the ones who come to the door are always young, perky and enthusiastic. I hate to crush their little spirits…

  5. Yes, it is harder to say no when they come to the door, but if they are too persistent, they annoy me. I hate arguing. I was a teacher for many years and had to put up with kids who wanted to argue about everything all day long. That being said, I usually don’t turn kids down if they are selling something for school or Scouts.

    • Yes, if the kids are polite and articulate, we usually buy their candy bars. But if they pound on my door incessantly before any reasonable person could get to the door, grunt or mumble, they’re done.

    • You are probably better off for it Lisa. We never had caller ID but it came automatically when we changed phone services a little while ago. My husband loves it because he hates saying no to telephone solicitors. Now he just doesn’t answer.

  6. It seems that ever since the Do Not Call List option came out, the non-profits & charities have gotten so much worse (more frequent) with phone solicitations! I swear we get twice as many calls now as we did before we were on the Do Not Call List. Sometimes I tell them we’re on that list (even though I know they’re exempt and don’t have to follow it), or else I go with the boring “thank you anyway.” Carlos has a nice non-sequitur of “Oh, that’s okay!” before he hangs up, which always makes me chuckle. One time I actually gave the phone to Oliver, who was about two years old at the time. That was my favorite…I should employ that strategy again if I remember to. As for the door, I just don’t answer it if it’s a stranger (not counting package deliveries). I figure it’s probably a good safety precaution anyway.

  7. Great pictures and captions! We don’t get door-to-door much; one of the benefits of living in a poorer neighborhood. Some of our phone calls, though, are doozies. We had a guy who purported to be from “Window” call and tell us our computer was sending out viruses. I don’t know what he actually wanted, because we kept asking him to repeat, then Gary got on the line and I heard him say “Say ‘Windows. Windows.'” Eventually the guy yelled that we were both “mother-f******,” and hung up.

    • We seem to get them in spurts, and ironically got the first one for this summer (I wrote this last summer and put it on the back burner) right after I posted this. The phone calls are endless though – we too get way more than we did before the do not call list.

  8. Huffygirl, sorry to hear that you have been the victim of endless “door knockers.” The home security ones can be the most difficult because they don’t know when to quit, and not to mention all the scammers out there!

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