The Mother of All Bread Machines

I’ve just packed up the mother of all bread machines and am sending her back – back from whence she came. Turns out the mother of all bread machines is more like the mother-in-law of all bread machines.

I’ve been on the quest for a perfect bread machine for some time and I thought this was going to be the one. Expensive. Highly touted. Carried exclusively by my favorite well-known upscale kitchen outfitter. Stainless steel exterior. Digital display. Lots of bells and whistles. And here’s the kicker: the mixing paddle is supposed to retract, leaving you with a small discrete slit in the bottom of the loaf, instead of hole like most bread machines too.

But, the mother of all did not deliver. Sure she was quiet – not cranking away like an outboard motor like my old machine did. Sure there was a cute digital display with all sorts of elaborate choices. But alas, the mixing paddle did not retract, leaving a gaping hole in the bottom of the loaf the size of Cleveland. And did I get any of those nice neat loaves of bread like they show in the pictures? NOOOO.

So excited to give the mother of all bread machines a whirl, I put her right to use, barely out of the box. First I tried a two-pound loaf, using my favorite, tried and true bread recipe. Instead of a nice loaf of bread, it came out a like a misshapen blob, looking more like the bread meteor of death. Well, that was a big recipe, and one not originally made for bread machines,  so I thought I’d give her another chance. 

Next I tried a one pound loaf, straight from the recipe book that came with the machine. This time the bread barely rose, causing my son to ask if it was  Passover already. And with the loaf of bread so short, the ginormous hole left by the paddle came right up through the top of the loaf.

 Always the optimist, I tried again. I used my favorite bread recipe which had worked fine in my previous bread machine. I poured in all the ingredients. I set the machine for “dough only.” The dough mixed. It rose nicely, but was thrown sloppily all over the pan, instead of formed into a loaf shape. No worry – I took it out, removed the errant paddle, shaped it into a loaf and put it back in the pan. Then, I used the rise and bake setting to finish the loaf. Finally – a perfectly shaped loaf of bread! But, I’m sending the machine back any way, because I already have a machine that does this:

© Huffygirl 2011


22 thoughts on “The Mother of All Bread Machines

  1. good for you for returning the offending gadget… me, I let Dempsters do the work, they have a great bread machine at thier bakery… (I am hopeless in the kitchen, something I inherited from some wayward Aunt)

    • I hope you have another aunt that left you some kind of special talent then, to make up for the not being good in the kitchen part. I think you are not alone – that’s why we have so many restaurants and bakeries!

  2. Good to meet you through the blogosphere. Pleased to read that you won the battle against the tyranny of the kitchen gadget!
    Re your question about ads on my blog….when I viewed your post here when not logged into my WordPress account, there is an advert for an anti-aging product which I’m guessing you don’t know is there.

    • Thanks for stopping in Rowena – very nice to meet you.

      As far as the advertising – you are right , I didn’t know it was there. I didn’t see any ads on your blog, and when I tried viewing mine just now when not logged into WordPress, I still don’t see any either. Is it because I have pop-ups blocked? Other readers – do you see ads on this and other WordPress blogs?

  3. There was no ad on this page when I was logged into WordPress. There was a Time Warner Cable ad on this page when I wasn’t logged into WordPress.

    • Well, I didn’t want to say, but yes it was. They brought it out in January, then recalled it because it had “design flaws” I waited until it came out again recently, but I think it still has desgin flaws. To be fair, I think the one I had may have had a defect, because the hole on the paddle that you use to place it on the turning pin looked too large, and I think the paddle sloshed around too much. Maybe If I had returned it and tried a replacement…But then I thought for what it costs, it should be inspected properly and not allow a defective one to slip though. I’m going to try Cuisinart instead.

  4. Huffygirl,
    I don’t sell ad space on my blog.
    The ads do not appear when I visit my own blog (it doesn’t matter if I’m logged into wordpress or not).
    Just a few minutes ago, my husband visited my blog (using his computer) and an ad appeared underneath the post he was viewing.
    BTW – If you get a Cuisinart bread machine, I hope it works better.
    Take care. -Theresa

  5. Correction: If I view a very, very old post on my own blog, an ad shows up below it. Have you tried viewing a post that you made back in August? -Theresa 🙂

    • I’ve looked at a few old posts and still don’t see any ads. I know that WP says they put ads on some sites, but I thought it would be ones that have higher traffice than mine. Hmmm.

  6. I used to have a bread machine, but I didn’t like the texture of the bread, even when the loaf looked nice. I started using the machine just to mix the loaf and let it rise (the dough or pizza cycle) and then baking it in a loaf pan in the oven. Worked much better, but I finally went back to the Mirro bread mixer my mother bought me when I first got married. I think they still make them. It’s a big gold aluminum tub with a giant dough hook in it. You can make about five loaves at a time. After the dough rises, you just shape it, let it rise again in the pans, and then bake it. I’ve been making bread with it for nearly 40 years.

  7. I never understood bread machines. I’ve had friends who bragged about what great bread they made in their bread machines, and I was always like, “Couldn’t you have done that in an oven?” They didn’t appreciate my skepticism.

    • Can’t imagine why Todd 🙂 Actually, most people I know with bread machines are very excited about them when they first get them, and then after a while, stop using them completely. The aroma of freshly baked bread is enticing, but I think the lower quality of the loaves compared to homemade gets old. And yes, you CAN do the same thing in the oven, and it usually turns out better, but I think we all want to avoid the 3 hour time committment involved in making bread by hand.

  8. Pingback: How To Make Bread

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