Today I did something I seldom do – I turned off my NPR station and basked in silence. Silence as I went about the house, doing the mundane tasks of life, that I usually find easier accompanied by the varied commentary of NPR. But not today. I had had enough. The refreshed grief was finally too much. All week I had listened to remembrances of 9-11 as the anniversary of that horrible day draws near. The stories were heartfelt and poignant. I sobbed as I brushed my teeth and dressed for work as a father shared the loss of his two firefighter sons. Big fat tears fell as I plugged in the toaster and opened jam, while I relived the loss of Father Mychal Judge. It’s not that these stories are not important – they are. We must never forget that horrible day, because if we forget, we will lose the memory of these everyday heroes and what they stood for. But this was too much. Every day it was like picking off the scab of just healed grief over and over and over again.
Everyone remembers in their own way. Everyone brings respect as they see fit. I do not need to shackle myself to grief, in order to bring honor or memory. I revere the heroes of that day. I mourn for the losses our people have endured. But I will mourn and remember in the silence. And I will never forget.
© Huffygirl 2011
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