New category: InFAUXmercial

Meals in seconds with this! (Image courtesy of Google)

It’s Sunday morning, you can’t sleep. You get up early and turn on the TV, hoping for some intelligent programming  to get your mind off your insomnia. Well, you might as well forget about the intelligent  part, because: a) that rarely exists these days, even in prime time, and b) it’s Sunday morning –  the day for infomercials. Yes, the infomercial – a TV show using a fake talk-show format to sell a product that most people could get along without. We’ve all seen it at some time or another, so I’m sure you know the drill. There’s the chatty host, usually sort of a Ryan Seacrest look alike. Chatty host sits at a desk and talks it up with eye candy – a young, attractive woman who acts as the “guest.” They discuss the product ad nauseam, demonstrate the product together, and often bring in an eclectic mix of “experts” or users to give testimonials. One of my favorites is “The Magic Bullet.” It’s a simple little blender-type gadget that is purported to be able to produce an entire gourmet meal “in seconds.” It might be seconds  if you had about thirty of these things like the people in the infomercial do, so you wouldn’t have to take it apart and wash the blades in between making cheese quesidallas, frozen daiquiris, Alfredo sauce, and fruit smoothie desserts. In reality, the Magic Bullet is an ordinary blender blade with a screw-on container. But the infomercial folks in true infomercial style, turn it into a kitchen messiah, by convincing the viewer that it’s fun, easy and will make people like you, because you make amazing meals for them “in seconds.” Never mind that each blended food delight is only enough for one or two people – with a miracle gadget like this, just use the “multiplication of the loaves” feature and you’ll  have enough for a party. Really, I don’t know why you haven’t run to your phone to buy one right now, just from reading this resounding  endorsement.

No infomercial would be complete without the pricing and ordering information, shouted at the end by THE MAN WITH THE ANNOUNCER-TYPE VOICE. Invariably the price for this amazing gadget ends with 99; if you wait, there will always be “more”; and if you order now (after all, operators ARE standing by) you can get two of these amazing gadgets (why would anyone want two?) for the price of one.

Spoofing the infomercial is so much fun that I think it’s finally time to have a category for it – I’m calling it  InFAUXmercial. You can see my previous infomercial spoofs here, and look for future fun posts in the InFAUXmercial category.

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© Huffygirl 2011


12 thoughts on “New category: InFAUXmercial

    • Why of course – you have to know how it all turned out! It’s like the old cliche’ of watching a horrific traffic accident – it’s awful but so hard to tear yourself away.

  1. I bought the Magic Bullet to make baby food. Then they came out with the Baby Bullet, same thing, but with cute faces on the cups. Do I need both to make my life complete?

  2. So funny – I haven’t watched an infomercial in a long time. I remember our son waking us one Sunday morning when he was small – he was very excited about a demonstration of how to make your own stained glass windows at home – he was definitely sold on the idea and felt we needed convincing.

    I love the pitch that this thing will help you make meals in seconds – are they assuming that nothing has to be cooked?

    • Well, then you spend “seconds” cooking the very small portions in your microwave. My favorite is when they show how to make your own Alfredo sauce, and then the pasta to go with it somehow just magically appears.

  3. I have to admit I watched Ron Popeil and his infomercials when I was a young mother. I even bought his pasta maker. Big mistake. A bear to take apart and clean! He was such a good salesman, though. Funny post!

    • Guess I haven’t been watching enough infomercials because I don’t know who that is. So you can actually make your own pasta? And I thought it just came in the blue box from the store! 🙂

  4. omg…you are too funny. I have the Magic Bullet and we love it. Both kids can repeat the infomercial word-for-word…and now Little One says he can’t wait until he is married with kids so he can have the Baby Bullet!!! You gotta have those little smiley faces because it makes your kids eat better. 🙂

    I love informercials because they are perfect for curing insomnia. They drone on and on and put me to sleep. But if you use my tip, put the timer on the commercial or the yelling will wake you back up.

    • I’ll remember your tip Techy. Good to hear from you again. If we ever meet in real life, I’ll be expecting you to make me a delicious meal “in seconds” with your Magic Bullet!

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