I have an underwear graveyard. Probably you do too. All my old underwear that is starting to look a little worn, ratty, or outdated lives in the underwear graveyard. I can’t possibly get rid of it, because what if I need it? Everyone needs to have a strategic underwear reserve. Say that something happens and you can’t do laundry for a while – washer breaks down, illness, prolonged power outage? That’s when you go to the graveyard and open the strategic underwear reserve. It’s not the underwear you want to be wearing when you are brought into the emergency room after a car accident, or on your wedding night, but it will do in a pinch.
Then there’s those old favorite pairs you can’t bear to part with. Men seem to be especially good at this. Who can give up their most comfortable old pair of boxers? So what if they’ve got a few holes, a few worn spots? As long as they’re not in strategic places, you can still wear them, right? Your wife wants you to get rid of them, but you just can’t, so they go into the graveyard. You can wear them when your wife is gone for the weekend or when you go camping with the guys.
Then, there’s the lucky underwear. No, I’m not talking about THAT. The other lucky underwear – the ones you wore when your team won the Rose Bowl. Or when your bowling team won the league. Or when you scored five under par on your golf game. If my sons are any indication, men are big fans of lucky underwear. Under great protests, I once turned my teenaged son’s lucky boxers into my lucky paint rag, when it finally no longer qualified as even emergency backup underwear. Don’t worry – he survived and now I’ve got the luckiest paint rag I’ve ever had.