The underwear graveyard

I have an underwear graveyard. Probably you do too. All my old underwear  that is starting to look a little worn, ratty, or outdated lives in the underwear graveyard. I can’t possibly get rid of it, because  what if I need it? Everyone needs to have a strategic underwear reserve. Say that something happens and you can’t do laundry  for a while – washer breaks down, illness, prolonged power outage? That’s when you go to the graveyard and open the strategic underwear reserve. It’s not the underwear you want to be wearing when you are brought into the emergency room after a car accident, or on your wedding night, but it will do in a pinch.

Then there’s those old favorite pairs you can’t bear to part with. Men seem to be especially good at this. Who can give up their most comfortable old pair of boxers? So what if they’ve got a few holes, a few worn spots? As long as they’re not in strategic places, you can still wear them, right? Your wife wants you to get rid of them, but you just can’t, so they go into the graveyard. You can wear them when your wife is gone for the weekend or when you go camping with the guys.  

Then, there’s the lucky underwear. No, I’m not talking about THAT. The other lucky underwear  – the ones you wore when your team won the Rose Bowl. Or when your bowling team won the league. Or when you scored five under par on your golf game. If my sons are any indication, men are big fans of lucky underwear. Under great protests, I once turned my teenaged son’s lucky boxers  into my lucky paint rag, when it finally no longer qualified  as even emergency backup underwear. Don’t worry – he survived and now I’ve got the luckiest paint rag I’ve ever had.

© Huffygirl

14 thoughts on “The underwear graveyard

    • Agree. I have a drawer of biking underwear, but now I’ve heard that one should not wear underwear under bike shorts – but let’s not go there. But clearly certain underwear has certain, well-defined purposes that would disrupt the balance of the universe should we just start treating all underwear the same.

    • Well, if we can’t find humor in real life, there’s not much left. While writing this I actually removed my graveyard underwear from the drawer to a bag in the closet, and I too had more in the “bad” then in the “good.” Notice that I did not throw it away, just moved it to more remote quarters, aka deeper into the graveyard.

  1. I’m a guy, so I have old T-shirts, and you can always find some use for an old T-shirt, usually involving cleaning. The other stuff, sometimes, you just gotta let it go.

    • Todd, sounds like you’re better at letting the old underwear go than some of us. My husband has a hard time with the T-shirts. He can’t understand that holes=bad.

    • Well, it’s probably better not to. In reality, it doesn’t make sense to hang on to a bunch of old things that aren’t good enough to wear. Yet, for some reason a lot of us do.

  2. This is a good companion piece to my current story about my son’s underwear drawer being the portal to Hell……. I can never throw any underwear away….as long as they have a tiny shred of elastic left…and still stay up…..I will keep them for decades….. of course, this is not an issue because my wife throws out my “worn” clothes right and left when I am out of the house…. 🙂

  3. Mmm… I have a sock graveyard. Socks I can’t wear, socks I’ve worn so much they’re falling to bits, socks that I like to look at but which make me itch, and so on.

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