(Photo by Mick Stephenson 2007, courtesy of Wikipedia)
Okay, I admit it. I have no tolerance for alcohol. I’d love to have an occasional glass of chardonnay, but I’m never able to drink a whole glass, or even half. Two sips are my limit. Literally. Maybe three, if I’m going to be in the restaurant for several hours and have plenty of food. There’s a name for people like me – although some would say it’s “cheap date” it’s actually alcohol intolerant. Some people with alcohol intolerance lack alcohol dehydrogenase (ADH), the enzyme needed to break down alcohol. Maybe I don’t have it, but I’m not sure why. Lack of ADH is more common in Asians and I’m not even a little bit Asian. And the way I feel when I try to drink is not quite what’s been described as ADH deficiency.
Meanwhile, I AM a cheap date. I rarely order alcohol in a restaurant because why pay for the $8 glass of wine if I can only drink two sips. I occasionally open a bottle of wine at home, and it lasts…well it lasts forever unless we have company come over and finish it off, after I’ve dispensed many a two-sip glass, which barely touches it. I’m probably the only person around who further ages their wine AFTER opening it.
Wine tasting? The idea is appealing, and I like to try different wine flavors, but in practice, it doesn’t really work. Try to tell the wine-tasting people that you really don’t want any more of their delightful wine repeatedly, without insulting them. Traveling through wine county, stopping at picturesque vineyards with artsy tasting rooms – not for me.
So I’ll let others order the wine, swirl it around in the glass, sniff the cork and toast, while I stick to my semi-abstemious ways. Although it makes me socially awkward, it saves money and protects me from pesky legal entanglements such as driving after drinking.
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/alcohol-intolerance/DS01172
http://www.winespectator.com/webfeature/show/id/41593
*Disclaimer: This is a satire blog. There is no “child’s portion.” Huffygirl does not advocate serving alcohol to children. (I really shouldn’t even have to mention this, but, sigh, just in case.)
Huffygirl's Blog 
I snorted when I read the Disclaimer. What a laugh!
Well, these days you have to cover all the bases…
Love the disclaimer! 🙂 I know there are no such thing as childs portions….but my wife did buy a little 4-pack of tiny little wine bottles with like 8 oz. in each bottle….. Just the right size for her. Two sips and she’s snoring on the floor… 🙂
So it’s not just me – although for me an 8 ounce bottle would last an awfully long time.
Maybe you started out as a cheap date, Huffygirl, but you have made up for it in other ways since then. 😉
Well, I hope so.
huffygirl, I have read that the North American Indian has a genetic intolerance to alcohol because of lack of ADH. Perhaps you have some Indian blood in you?
I used to be able to hold my alcohol relatively well, but now it’s the proverbial sniff of the wine cork that sends me into an alcohol-induced dreamland. Cheap date, indeed.
No, not a drop of North American Indian genes in me. There must be another reason such as lack of the proper enzyme pathways or something.
I’m a lightweight too. Built up a tolerance in my twenties, but now I’m back to barely being able to finish a glass of wine. Twice in the last two years I had a cocktail before dinner and then a glass of wine with dinner. Suffered. Oh, well, better to be on this end of the spectrum…..
….must be my small fraction of native american blood.
At least you’ve got a good reason Z.
Loved this bit, especially the disclaimer! I’ve started to throw “I’m kidding!” into a lot of my posts because idiots with no sense of humor take the wrong things seriously!
Exactly! I debated about the child’s portion thing for a long time. You’d think that everyone reading it would know it’s satire, but there’s always someone who might not, so I finally decided to include the disclaimer. Thanks for stopping by.
If I drink more than 1 glass of wine (which I rarely do), my knees get weak. Literally. I usually don’t drink at all, since I have so many medications that indicate dire warnings about consuming alcohol while taking the meds.
Must be a family thing maybe? I don’t think anyone else is like that though.