I just found out some wonderful news – it turns out I’m about to inherit a large sum of money from a long-lost relative. Eighteen-million dollars genuine US cash, to be exact. How did I become so lucky?
Turns out I have a relative I didn’t even know I had, in Sumatra, Indonesia. I know we are related because we have THE SAME LAST NAME. What is the chance of that? Somehow my relative miraculously escaped the tsunami in 2004, but unfortunately his entire family perished. His distress after the loss of his family was so great that he later died of a heart attack. His attorney has been working tirelessly since then to find a relative to whom he could leave the estate. Since my last name is so uncommon, I can see why it took five years.
But, I’ve finally been found, and now I just have to agree to a few legal technicalities, then I can receive the $18 million. Sounds simple enough. According to the attorney, who I’m sure is genuine, because he has “law house” in his email address, and he signed his email “attorney at law”, this is all I have to do:
1. Send my full name, address, telephone number, gender, and occupation. Hmmm – since he said I have the same last name as the deceased, seems like he should already know this. Oh well.
2. Send my “international” passport. Is there any other kind?
Once Mr. Teo Wang receives and processes the legal documents, the money will be transferred via telegram. Mr. Wang stipulates that all correspondence must be kept confidential for security purposes, so we are only to communicate via email. That makes sense because everyone knows that email is VERY secure.
I’m ready to send him my information – I just better read the email one more time to make sure I didn’t miss anything. I certainly wouldn’t want to miss out on the $18 million dollars genuine US cash. Wait, there may be a small problem. Apparently, I was supposed to keep the whole deal secret “FOREVER.” Oops.
Well, too bad about the money. I’m feeling quite dejected, but there is still hope. I just got an email from a Nigerian businessman.