I’m kneeling on the floor in front of my self-cleaning oven, and I’m well, cleaning it. I’m scrubbing the bejesus out of the door and the outside edge of the oven with a Brillo pad, but only part of the baked-on grime is coming off. Now I’ve got a knife – I’m scraping at the burned-on stuff with the point. Maybe that is not good for the finish, but what’s a girl to do? Apparently the words “self-cleaning” have different meaning for the oven industry than they do to me.
The book that came with my oven has a two-page section on “using the self-cleaning oven.” First it says to remove the racks from the oven. Okay, so the racks are not part of the self-cleaning deal. Then I see the disclaimer. “The racks CAN be self-cleaned, but they will darken, lose their luster and become hard to slide.” So, do I want racks that are clean, but lusterless and hard to slide? I take out the racks.
Next, it says “soil on the front frame of the range and outside the gasket on the door will need to be cleaned by hand.” Okay, the outer door and outer rim of the oven are off the table. According to this though, the inner part of the door, the part with the glass, should get clean. Well, it’s better than it was but there is still considerable burned-on gunk all over the glass. What does the book say about that? “If the oven is not clean after one clean cycle, repeat the cycle.” Sooo – I’ve just used 1,000 gigawatts of electricity to clean the oven, which really only cleans select parts of the oven, and now I’m supposed to run the whole thing again?
The good news is that at least I don’t have a pet bird. Besides removing the racks, bird owners must also “…move birds to another well-ventilated room…” before activating the “stun” cycle of the oven. The book clearly states “…the health of some birds is extremely sensitive to the fumes given off during the self-cleaning cycle…” which begs the question – how do they know this? In the final stages of beta-testing the self-cleaning oven, did the engineer say “That worked great, but let’s run it again with Tweetie in the room.” Post mortem analysis: It was Leroy, in the kitchen, with the oven.