Lately I’ve had a plague of door to door salespersons – banging on my glass door, despite the very obvious, lighted door bell. I know that times are hard and people are trying to make a living the best they can, but REALLY? In the world of 24/7 online shopping, it’s hard to believe that anyone can still make a living as a door to door salesperson.
Of course, these salespersons are NOT selling anything. NO, of course not. That is the opening line. “Hello, I’m ________, and I’m not here to sell you anything.” Then, if I continue listening, they go on to ask if I’m concerned about: energy prices, home security, roofing and siding, water purity, and so on. Next, they tell me they’re shocked, SHOCKED, about the travesty of: high energy prices, poor home security, shoddy roofing and siding, or lack of water purity. Then they implore me to: put a sign in my yard, sign a petition, join my neighbors in decrying ______. Then, wait for it, here comes the kicker. The not-selling-anything sales person tries to sell me: better energy options, a home security system, roofing or siding, or a water purifier.
By now, readers are shaking their heads and saying to themselves “Huffygirl, why do you stand there and let them go through the dog and pony show? Just slam the door and be done with it.” Well, first I’m too kind to slam the door, and second they go through it all so fast I’m always caught off guard.
But now, I’m ready. I’m on to the door to door nonsales-sales ploy, and I’ll be ready the next time the perky young man comes to my door NOT selling energy efficiency, replacement windows, or home security. But by then, it will be time for the sweet-faced kids Little League kids selling candy bars.
© Huffygirl 2012

