Roxborough State Park near Denver (© Huffygirl 2012)
Denver, the mile-high capital of Colorado, is known for its sunshine, microbreweries, and picturesque snow-capped mountains. Now, it will also be known for its oxygen. Mayor Michael Hancock announced today that Denver will begin importing oxygen from Canada. “While Denver denizens are used to our oxygen-poor atmosphere, it can have a deterrent effect on visitors when selecting their vacation destination. Now, with the importation of oxygen from Canada, visitors from all altitudes will want to choose Denver as their vacation spot.” Mayor Hancock announced today that the oxygen importation system, Canadian Over-road Oxygen (CO2) should be up and running in time for Denver’s huge annual July 4th celebration. “Denver residents will notice little change, but our visitors will discover they can run, climb and engage in endurance sports, without experiencing headaches or breathlessness. Higher oxygen levels will boost tourism, and in turn, the Denver economy. In contrast, Canada has many sparsely populated areas, where oxygen hangs in the air unused. By buying oxygen from Canada’s under-utilized areas, it’s a win-win situation for all: Denver gets higher oxygen and more tourism, and Canada earns money for exporting a resource they’re not using anyway”
Huffygirl at Tiny Town, near Morrison, CO (© Huffygirl 2012)
Some Denver citizens expressed displeasure over the news. “We Denverites pride ourselves on the fitness we’ve achieved by living with less oxygen than others,” says concerned citizen Chris B. of suburban Denver. But Denver visitors welcome the change. “I get headaches every time I visit the mile-high city,” says recent visitor Donna Barry, author of Huffygirl’s Blog. “For once I’d like to visit my grandchildren without worrying if Denver has reserved enough oxygen for me.”
© Huffygirl 2012
Related links:
- Onionesque (huffygirl.wordpress.com)
- Senate Bill 2274 (huffygirl.wordpress.com)
- Bounty for all (huffygirl.wordpress.com)
- US takes advantage of Canada’s cost saving move (huffygirl.wordpress.com)
- Unsafe corn prompts early warning system (huffygirl.wordpress.com)
I am sure a lot of people will be worried that breathing Canadian oxygen could turn you into a Canadian.
And others will be worried that the evil government will release this foreign oxygen substance into the air, and they don’t want this strange sciency thing in the air they breathe!
I think that turning into a Canadian would not be that bad. They seem like very nice people. And once you turned into one, you would automatically have health insurance. I think folks will be lining up to breathe their oxygen. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts.
Your satires are great.
Oh, did you think this one was satire
Thanks Lisa.
You tagged it satire.. that helped! Catching on to your humor.
I knew you’d get it Lisa. I think the mark of good satire is if it’s almost believable, or at least starts out that way.
I’ve learned first hand from skiing copper mtn. that some extra oxygen at 10,000′ does a body good!
Agree. It makes me wonder why they haven’t done this a long time ago!
Funny
This is very interesting!
If importing oxygen to Denver works well, the next thing will be to bottle it and sell it in the supermarket. Now people buy bottled water from exotic locales, thinking it is better than their tap water at home. Maybe we’ll see things like “Canada Dry 02″ or “Vancouver Spring 02.” The possibilities are endless.
My first thought was, what is Harper thinking? We have the Rocky Mountains to oxygenate. My next one was, hell, yeah, we’re nice! Good one, HG, I finished reading it with a grin as wide as my computer screen.
Great to hear Sandra – I live to make you smile. Plus, I’m sure PM Harper wouldn’t give away any 02 that your citizens needed – just the extra stuff.
At the risk of getting political, you don’t know Harper
That’s true, I don’t Sandra. Every Canadian I’ve ever met has seemed so polite and wonderfully kind and friendly, that I guess I thought all Canadians were that way. I’ll have to hope that I never meet him, as to not spoil the allusion.
I just ate at our new Smashburger restaurant. Smashburger is headquartered in Denver, which could be why everything tasted so mile high fresh.
So Smashburger is good? We have one here and I haven’t tried it. But as you say, everything is better one mile up. Maybe they pipe some extra oxygen into the food there.
It was excellent. It is now my BFFBR. I’ll be doing a restaurant review on it soon.
BFFBR? Best friend forever burger? I’m afraid I’m not up on all the internet lingo. I’ll have to camp out on your blog sometime and read your review. Maybe I can get my kids to take me there next time I’m in Denver, or better yet, manage to get to the one across town at home.
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I am so happy we could make Colorado a more visitable destination.
Happy breathing.
Thank you. I’m planning to visit my kids again soon; maybe this time I’ll actually be able to run a whole mile or go up the stairs. And think of all the money you’ll be getting for oxygen no one is using anyway.